Friends in Circus
by Miumarie
Summary: Shinju, a relatively new Circus Airship 2 Member, gets impromptu "counseling" from Dr. Akari - but only until her newest 'family' interferes. This is a one-shot with a balance of serious moments and comical ones. No pairings - just my OC and the Karneval Kast. Characters: Yogi, Nai, Tsukumo, Dr. Akari, Gareki, Hirato


_*~* Hey all! It's me again! This is my second Karneval fanfiction short story! It has no connection to the first one I posted, named "A Dreamy Dream." This one connects with more of the characters and has a much lighter tone mixed in with the serious parts. Shinju, my own character (who has recently joined Circus), has a bout of serious depression that lands her in the Research Tower to rethink her thought life._

 _*~* I am a realist, so I attempt to capture the real essences of the characters and how situations would possibly happen as something even the original mangaka might have come up with. Ok, so I attempt that level of greatness anyway, lol._

 _*~* This isn't just something I imagined up because I felt like adding more to the fandom. I really put some thought into this...I've battled with depression a great deal in my life, and I hope that this might even give some inspiration or even advice to those who have also been in my place (lol gotta love Dr. Akari depression counseling...lol read on to find out)._

 _*~* Karneval Characters Involved: Yogi, Tsukumo, Gareki, Nai, Dr. Akari, Hirato_

 _*~* Rating: G - there's nothing kids_ _can't_ _shouldn't read!_

_  
Enter me, Shinju, into the world of Karneval...I've spent just a few more weeks here with these people and I've helped them destroy the hideous varuga creatures that threaten the future of humanity...however...things don't always go as planned...

"I'm doing this out of love for my friend!" Yogi cried with determination as he carried Shinju down the hallway, out of the airship, and into the Research Tower.

"What...are you doing, Yogi? Why are you taking me to the Research Tower?" Shinju asked rather pitifully, her eyes still dull.

"I know that we both dislike being around Akari-sensei, but there's clearly something the matter with you!" he said, slowing to a walk as they entered the building. Tsukumo and Nai were close behind him.

Shinju stiffened. "There's nothing wrong with me. Take me back."

For a moment Yogi wavered. "No."

"All I need is to sleep, Yogi. Take me back. I don't want to be outside!"

Yogi hesitated again, but quickly hardened his resolve. "Just hang in there until your examination is over."

Frustrated and becoming increasingly more anxious, Shinju shivered. "I don't need an examination...! Please don't do this to me!"

Yogi shut his eyes - he didn't like doing this, and he was sure he'd hate it if anyone had chosen to do the same thing with him. But he kept walking, telling himself it was for the best.

"Shinju, you need to be examined by someone with medical knowledge. You've not been yourself for several days now," Tsukumo added gently.

All Shinju could do now was cry helplessly in Yogi's arms. He deposited her onto one of the beds in the infirmary and started out on his brave expedition to find Dr. Akari. It didn't take him long to find him. When Yogi caught sight of the light-haired doctor, he hesitated, biting his lower lip nervously. The doctor was frightening enough to start with, and Yogi had never gone to him for help like this before. He hoped with all of his heart that Dr. Akari wasn't stressed out or had just spoken with Hirato. Telling himself it was for Shinju-chan, Yogi took a deep breath and approached the doctor.

"Akari-sensei!" he blurted, coming out from the corner he had been standing in.

"Yogi?" Dr. Akari said with surprise. "What are you here for? Is something wrong?" His sharp eyes stared right at Yogi and seemed to be judging him...analyzing...

Yogi shivered and raised his hands. "Ah! there's nothing wrong with me! It's Shinju-chan - she's sick but we don't know what's wrong. Can you possibly come and help her?"

A spark of curiosity appeared in the doctor's eyes. "What are her symptoms?"

"She wont eat anything, can't sleep, and is really weak and tired. She's simply not been herself either It's been like this for about a week now."

"I see; this isn't good." Dr. Akari said with a sigh. "Where is she?"

"In the infirmary. Please tell me you can come and see her?" Yogi said, tightening his shoulders together nervously.

The doctor had started walking in the direction of the infirmary before Yogi had hardly finished his question. Yogi hurried after him, relieved.

"Has she been drinking anything?" Dr. Akari asked as they walked.

"Uhm...we did give her water with her breakfast this morning, but she never touched it -" answered Yogi. He felt bad vibes coming from the doctor before he even spoke.

"YOU HAVEN'T BEEN MAKING HER DRINK WATER?" he hissed. "Great, she's probably dehydrated on top of whatever sickness she might be fighting. Make yourself useful and go get a big glass of water."

"Y-yes sir!" Yogi yelped and rushed away to get the water.

Dr. Akari arrived at the infirmary where Shinju was lying. When he walked in, Shinju immediately felt the natural fear rise up within her as it normally did when he was nearby, but this time, it hardly so much as made her look at him.

Without even saying hello, Dr. Akari went to work right away, starting with taking her pulse. "You're heart rate is normal," he said after a few seconds. "I hear you haven't been drinking anything, Shinju? And that you also aren't sleeping, aren't eating, and that your psychological state has changed as well. Are all these things true?"

Shinju nodded faintly, by now just wanting to escape, but knowing that she couldn't. Tears flowed from her eyes, but she allowed it. _Why try to hide anything about myself? Everyone knows how pathetic I am already._ Whether she ate, drank, or slept was really of no concern. She just wanted to get out of the place.

"Have you felt any dizziness?"

Shinju nodded.

"Headaches?"

Again, positive.

"Nausea?"

*shakes head*

"How much sleep have you gotten in the last 48 hours?"

Shinju hesitated. "I don't know."

"So I can assume it hasn't been enough then." Dr. Akari then finished taking her vitals and ordered one of the nurses to prepare an IV.

Yogi returned with the cup of water and quickly handed it to Shinju, accidentally splashing a little of it onto the floor and Dr. Akari's pant leg.

"You're so clumsy!" the doctor scolded, dragging him by the collar out of his way. He turned to Shinju. "Drink that whole glass right now. There's no rush, but that's an order, understood?"

Shinju nodded, tears still dripping from her eyes.

Dr. Akari sighed and asked her, "Does it hurt anywhere? You have a headache right now, right?"

Again, Shinju nodded, staring straight ahead and slowly sipping at the cup of water.

"I see. Well, you don't have a fever and all of your vital signs are fairly good except for your blood pressure, which is a bit high. However, that seems to be due to the stress you're under at the moment. Because you're obviously dehydrated, I'm giving you an IV in stead of waking you up every 15 minutes and making you drink. This will allow you to both rest and get the hydration you need. If you aren't any better after this, then I can take a blood sample and we'll go from there. For now this is all I can do."

"So what's wrong with her exactly?" Nai asked.

"Well, I can't say for certain - with no fever and with decent vital signs, it's possibly just a case of malnutrition and dehydration. Stress plays a big factor as well. To sum it up I'd call it "burn-out."

For a moment it was quiet until Yogi mentioned timidly, "Burn-out is usually when someone overworks themselves right? But...Shinju-chan hasn't had a rough schedule recently."

Dr. Akari looked at Shinju, who had rolled over and covered her face with the sheets. Noticing that she had drank only half of the glass, he placed his hand on her shoulder and said, "Shinju, drink the rest of the water please. If you're going to get better you have to do as I say."

Shinju slowly rolled over and commenced to drinking the water down like a robot. Clearly she was not herself. This was not Yogi's twin - the playful, talkative, flighty, and immature girl to have joined Circus Airship two in the last month. He had a feeling he knew what the real problem was, but now was not the time to bring it up. He turned to the others.

"She mainly needs rest for now. The three of you go back to the ship and get some rest yourselves. Make sure to inform Hirato of the situation."

"Yes, sir," Yogi and Tsukumo said together.

Later that evening Hirato visited the research tower and found Dr. Akari tending to Shinju. When Shinju saw him in the doorway she turned away, avoiding eye-contact. Of all the people she felt to have failed, she felt it the strongest with him. Tears built up in her eyes again. Just his presence was doing that to her.

Dr. Akari noticed him standing there and stiffened slightly. "Oh, it's you. Do you need something?" He asked briskly.

Hirato grinned innocently. "I have only come to check up on my subordinate."

"I'd like her to stay overnight. She's extremely dehydrated and needs to rest."

"So I see," Hirato said, catching Shinju's eyes a half-second before she looked away. The moment of contact unsettled Shinju, but she had to swallow it. She had respected Hirato greatly and even looked up to him as a sort of father-figure/hero, but for the moment, just his presence felt like an insult - adding salt to her already burning wounds. He was so perfect - a fact recognized by all. He was an effortless king, while she strived and strived to reach even somewhere near that level, but all she did was fail. How could she face him?

While Dr. Akari changed Shinju's IV pouch, Hirato walked up to Shinju. "Akari believes you'll be better, Shinju. Make sure to obey him. We'll be waiting for you." With that said, he turned and walked out of the room.

Shinju covered her face with the sheets again and cried. She wanted Dr. Akari to just leave her alone - just forget about her like she knew he wanted to. Everything inside of her hurt. She felt as though her heart could just stop, her lungs could cease to function, and she could just pass on into nothingness and escape from her turmoil that no one could even see to understand. To her surprise, Dr. Akari left the room and called out for the captain.

"Hirato," Dr. Akari barked down the hall.

Hirato turned around and stopped as the doctor approached him. "Hmm?"

"Have you noticed anything strange about Shinju during the past week?" the doctor asked quietly.

Hirato thought for a minute. "I can't think of anything except for three days ago. She went to Karasuna with Tsukumo and they returned with an unusual report - Shinju usually involves herself willingly in action with the varuga, but in this case for some reason she backed out in the middle of combat and nearly caused a failed mission. Luckily 2nd Ship was nearby and provided assistance. I didn't see her much after that day."

"You didn't speak with her after the incident?"

"We spoke briefly when they came to give me the mission report."

Dr. Akari sighed bitterly. "It seems as though you're oblivious to some of the most important things on your ship - Shinju's not physically sick - she's depressed. I can guarantee that last situation you just described is a major factor. You ought to consider your subordinates emotional states a bit more!"

Hirato bowed slightly. "I do what I can, Doctor. Is there something you think that I should do?"

"It's too late now. I'll take care of her." Dr. Akari turned and walked briskly back down the hall to Shinju's room.

Hirato stood there for a moment thinking to himself. The expression on his face was unreadable as he returned to the ship.

Dr. Akari knew that Shinju needed a lecture, but he wasn't quite certain of how to go about it. It was obvious that he didn't want to hurt her feelings, but there times things just had to be said. Shinju was again hiding her face from him under the blanket when he returned.

"You don't seem to have much of a will to recover," he said bluntly, his arms crossed.

She didn't show any sign of answering him.

"You're physically fine, Shinju. Can you explain to me what's going on? Why did you stop eating?"

Again, no answer.

Dr. Akari pulled back the blanket just enough so he could see her face. She flinched and shut her eyes. "Tell me what is going on. That's an order."

Fresh tears fell from her eyes. "I..I'm sorry..." she whimpered, still not willing to face him. Why was he doing this? Of all the people she had met, he certainly didn't care about her. No one could ever understand her. No one, especially not Dr. Akari, could understand her situation or how she was feeling. Even though he was asking her, there was no way he'd understand if she tried to answer. She was stuck in a hidden, never ending black hole...alone...in the same life she'd ever had - full of bad luck and failures...

All of a sudden Dr. Akari grabbed her chin and turned her head around, forcing her to face him. "Look at me. Why are you acting like this? Stop hiding and get it together!"

"I'm a failure! All I ever do is mess up! I can never succeed! Everyone else around me is so strong, but I do nothing but cause problems. I'm a hindrance to everyone! No one understands me and no one wants to help me! I'm worthless - I can't do anything right...this isn't the job for me! I should just leave here and be killed for deserting! I -"

 _SLAP_

Dr. Akari had heard enough. It was as he thought - Shinju was having a pity party and the depression had gotten so bad that she'd considered her life to be worthless. She had given up. However, there was no patient Dr. Akari had ever given up on, and Shinju had been entrusted to his care. Mental conditions were certainly still in the range of curability. And life was not something so easily spoken of in the way Shinju had been speaking.

"How dare you throw away your life so flippantly!" he said sternly after slapping her. "You are a part of Circus. Aside from that, you are a human being - you have life. Why don't you choose to keep it?"

Shinju shut her eyes and turned away from him again, raising her hand to her tingling cheek where the doctor had slapped her. She didn't try to hide the crying even though he was there.

"I...don't belong here. I'm not good enough to be here."

Dr. Akari folded his arms. "I don't understand how you can say that after Yogi, Tsukumo and Nai brought you here after noticing how you've been acting. It's obvious that you belong here. Hirato accepted you as part of the team, didn't he? You've proven yourself to be worthy of your position. How can you give up after making a single blunder?"

"I can't do enough...I'll just fail at whatever I do. It's a proven fact. I get the ambition to do something and then I screw up no matter how hard I try. How do other people do it? How can they succeed where I can't? What makes me so different?!"

For a moment Dr. Akari was quiet. He was about to speak when someone suddenly dashed into the room, surprising both of them. It was Yogi.

"Shinju-chan..." he said, leaning over the bed. "Please don't feel so bad! I know what it's like - I mess up all the time, but I am always welcomed back by the others! Just failing once or twice doesn't make you useless!"

"Yogi..." Shinju cried, finally beginning to give in. She felt like such an idiot. Of course Yogi and the others cared about her...

"Don't ever say you want to abandon us again! You've become my friend, and Nai's friend, AND Tsukumo's friend! You even get a long with Gareki!" Yogi said, tears brimming at his own eyes.

Someone else appeared at the door. "Hey, you sayin' I'm hard to get along with?" Gareki said as he leaned against the wall.

"Ahh! No...um, well...maybe?"

"Gareki..." Shinju whimpered, wiping her eyes.

Nai finally ran into the room and grasped Shinju's hand. "We want you, Shinju! You're strong and very brave! You saved me, once, remember?"

Tsukumo had followed Nai into the room. Now almost everyone from first ship was present.

Dr. Akari placed a hand on his hip, obviously irritated that his lecture had been interupted. "What's all this? Why are you all here?"

Tsukumo answered, "Hirato mentioned that Shinju needed some company. Originally only I was going to go, but Gareki, Nai and Yogi decided to come as well. Is it alright that we're here?"

"Yes...Shinju should be fine to return to the ship in the morning. No other treatment is needed," he answered.

Nai and Yogi's faces burst into smiles. "Yey! Shinju, did you hear that?"

Shinju nodded. "Please...forgive me, all of you. I...was selfish for clamming up and making you all worry. I'll strive to do better for you all."

Nai jumped onto the bed and hugged her. Yogi smiled and held her hand. "If you ever feel like that ever again, please come talk to us! We won't ever be angry with you!"

"Yeah!" Nai piped up, "If you need someone to just hold your hand or hug you, we're here! We're Shinju-chan's friends!"

Dr. Akari had turned around and was about to leave the room when Shinju sat straight up and threw the blanket off. She almost jumped off the bed forgetting about the IV still in her arm. "Well! I can't wait to get back to the ship -"

"GET BACK IN BED!" the doctor hollered, turning and flattening Shinju back onto the mattress. "Just because you're happy and all right now doesn't mean you're re-hydrated and rested! I said you could leave in the morning!"

Shinju yelped and hid under the blanket again. "Y-yes sir!"

Yogi shrank down beside the bed in sudden fright. He grabbed Shinju's hand again, whispering, "Akari-sensei is so frightening!"

Dr. Akari's eyebrow twitched at the sight. He had had enough excitement and stress for the night. He turned and walked out of the room mumbling, "The name of "Circus" is far too accurate for these guys..."

~~~ Haha, I hope you enjoyed my little story! ~~~  
~***Miumarie***~


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